Art School Graduate Gifts

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

The Art Student.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

The Artist

' A good idea '

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'Projectile painting.'

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Picasso: The Early Years

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Just call me Picasso!

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

Vincent Van Og.

German School

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'