Graduating From Art School Gifts

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

The Art Student.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

' A good idea '

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

'Projectile painting.'

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Just call me Picasso!

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Picasso: The Early Years

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

I need to set upmy own company.

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

German School

Vincent Van Og.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'