Graduating From Art School Pillows

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

The Art Student.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

The Artist

' A good idea '

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Picasso: The Early Years

Just call me Picasso!

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

I need to set upmy own company.

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

German School

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Cubism Model

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.