Graduating Art School Gifts

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Before Art School. During Art School. After Art School

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

I'm a minimalist.

Art Student

The Art Student.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

The Artist

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

' A good idea '

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Just call me Picasso!

Picasso: The Early Years

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

I need to set upmy own company.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

German School

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Cubism Model

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"