Art Scholar Gifts

The Harlot's Progress - Ensnared bya procuress.

The Art Student.

Larry's used art

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

The Artist

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

Alien David statue

'I'm in my Blue period.'

That shows business confidence.

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

The height of fashion in 1796

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

Instructional guide to scribbling

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

Young Picasso at the Beach

"You're welcome."

Wagging Dog