Art Sales Gifts

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

The Art Student.

Larry's used art

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

At the Museum

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Great Chinese Dynasties

'C'mon get it straight.'

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

International Women's Day

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

Madonna of the Pukes.

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Can You Spot the Differences?

Paul Klee

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Cat box"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

The Artist

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Robert Fripp

My First Camera

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."