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'The impressionists always bring a tear to my eye.' - 'I hate them too.'

Artist Retrospective.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"I think he was a celebrity."

'Yes, but is it art?'

Leda and the Swan: A Lady and a very friendly swan.

"It's called yellow on blue."

"What's the name of your latest painting?"

"I should say, he is a little sensitive to criticism!"

"This one is called 'Window of a Car I Flew Over'."

AUGUSTUS JOHN

"What a load of crap"

Exhibit: 'Rodin Updated' - The Talker.

'...And stunning in its savage povocation.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

'Looks like her mother let her out of the tub just in the nick of time.'

'Then he realized that he was bi-sexual!'

'Apparently it's his last installation.'

Daddy was a great artist...

'It's not an optical illusion, madame, it just looks that way!'

A Wrestler Abroad

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Larry's used art

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Meet the scribe"

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Mr. Right!"