Art Gallery Fan Gifts

Couple dressed as cheese and wine. 'Well I'm sorry but I thought it was like a toga party.'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Pharaoh Cocoon

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

Bot Art: After Mary Cassatt

"Wentworth, could I take another look at that reorganization plan?"

Please do not touch the art. Please touch the artist.

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

Swan in a trenchcoat.

"Habanero ..."

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

Monet in the '90s.

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

"... And precisely how long have you been reading underground comix?"

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'Hey, I used that model once!'

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

Warhol Exhibit

The drinker.

"Yes, but is it art?"

Munch Master.

'I'm not cut out for this job' (Matisse sketch to cut out paper model)

Tracey Emin - Private view.

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'