Art Exhibition Open Night T-Shirts

'I only drink at Private Views...'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

It's a call from Tate modern.

Painting taking root...

Candle Portraits.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Picasso: The Early Years

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Creation of Red Wine

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'Mom says finger painting was digital art before computers.'

'I think it's the best thing you've ever done!'

"I read 'Art News.'"

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

Private Viewing

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

Instant art

'You're no Pollock.'

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Who's the artist?"

A Science and Art Conversation.

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.