Art Decipherers Gifts

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

Art Plagiarism

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

Don't forget to read the small print.

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

"What part of oil lamp next to double squiggle over ox don't you understand?"

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

Percentage artwork

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'Well, I just met the girl of my dreams -- you know, the kind you have when you eat anchovy pizza right before bed.'

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"There you go kid. If you have a monster he can't get out now."

'Prophetic dream, no chance! You lying on a plate, surrounded by vegetables? That can only be symbolic.'

Dr. Harper had a special eye exam chart made for hieroglyphics professor patient.

"I'd like to extend a special welcome to those of you who are joining us for the first time, as part of a nightmare you're having."