Art Interpreter Gifts

Percentage artwork

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Dialogue

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

She - Interpreter - He.

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Frederic Chopin

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"Caricatures $20"

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

How a poet works

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

Signing the declaration of independence.

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

'I need a text-mail interpreter.'

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

Confused drivers

Orator translates in many languages.

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

When I was in jail, I passed the time by writing my autobiography. I took certain liberties with some of the characters. For instance, you appear in the later chapters

Art Gallery.

"You'll have to phrase it another way. They have no word for 'fetch.' "

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

Simultaneous translation.

"..and you'll also need Percy here, his interpreter"

"And so one could say that my work examines art as an expression of objecthood where the object is neither the art nor the object but rather the practice of intentionality."

Louie Louie Lyrics Challenge. Louie Louie, oh baby, we gotta go. Then what? Every night and day a ladle of me: Back of a girl all cuddly. On a gym that brings me there: A girl with a rose in her hair. Makes sense? Ladle of me? Ladle?! HOJ.

The International Date Line