Art Conservator Gifts

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

"Is there anything sadder than an underfunded wax museum?"

Please do not torch

Time Smoking a Picture.

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

"Lead paint - they're being recalled."

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think he was a celebrity."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Use your imagination.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Now I'm starting to get a little worried about this global warming thing.

Misunderstood artist

Painting taking root...

'I could do that.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Children's Art Show.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Rodin's Browser

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'