Art Assistant T-Shirts

'Pass my Mallet.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

The Artist

'I'm in my Blue period.'

That shows business confidence.

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"Morning, all!"

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Good Luck!

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Young Picasso at the Beach

"You're welcome."

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Projectile painting.'

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."