Art Assistant T-Shirts

'Pass my Mallet.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

Paul Klee

'I'm in my Blue period.'

That shows business confidence.

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"Morning, all!"

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Instructional guide to scribbling

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

Children's artwork exhibition.

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Good Luck!

"You're my Mona Lisa."

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

Shake it all about sign on desk

It's a call from Tate modern.

Cat with Nine Still Lives