Assistant T-Shirts

"Miss Harwood, please see to it that the halls are decked."

"I need an interpreter. Send in someone who speaks jargon."

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

"Miss Durban, is there anything C.E.O.-ish for me to do?"

In basket-case.

Woman trying to do lots of things at once

"I've had enough reports for one day. Bring me some gossip."

'Turn all this black and white into gray...'

Employees must wash hands.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"Buster, run this past legal."

'Tiptoe it by legal.'

'Stress can kill, but it takes too long.'

"Sorry I didn't get to all the things - I was too busy with all the things!"

'Sure, I can stay late. Will you help me work through my feelings of anger and bitter resentment?'

'I think it's time I put my priorities in order... I want you to find out what they are.'

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

"Carol, check my appointment book—something's not right."

Support staff staff.

'...I need you to find out what it is we do.'

"Isn't he thoughtful? He never forgets to send us a postcard when he's away on holiday."

'My assistant Mr. Bird can tell you what I think of you much better than I as your boss could do.'

"I don't like labeling people either. I get my rate-faced, bootlicking, brownnosing, liver-lipped, waste-of-space flunky to do it."

"You're not in today. I'm not clear on how you want me to handle that."

'Ms. Collins, order me a dozen roses asap. And make sure I say something flattering to myself in the card.'

'Woodruff, find out everything you can on a crazy thing called 'love'.'

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

"A broken fingernail does not entitle you to a week off on the company health scheme, Miss Parsons!"

"Can you also let me know of any incoming sharks?"

Good Luck!

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'I'm a very busy man. Bring me something to do.'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"Are you ready for the working breakfast?"

Revolving Doors Ltd. - 'He's in, out, in, out ...'