Theatre Assistant T-Shirts

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Applause

The Witches Discover The Wok

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

A man taking a bow

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Tower Hamlets

Jimmy Cagney.

A pretention of playwrights

Illustrations of Shakespeare.

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Greetings and welcome to my new play called 'King Lear.' It's about delegation, succession, and decentralization.'

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

Snail Man

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

'A new musical - Einstein's quest - rehearsal'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

This is Twig's scene. Get ready! That's her! Where? There! Too late. Nice shot of Jessie Caldwell. Wasn't she fabulous.

Tragedy, Comedy, 'Dramedy'

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."