Army Surplus Seeker Gifts

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

"It's the battering classes"

Army Man Playset 2020

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

Charity Shop Income on Rise

A Real Pinata Surprise

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'Some scout he is!'

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

The company didn't pay a bonus this year

Bankers Christmas Bonus Dome.

Mess Hall. The new recruit was assigned to kitchen duty. We have a private chef!

'Buy a bottle of these vitamins. If you're strong enough to get the lid off, don't take them.'

'I guess it's better than no bonus at all.'

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

"Once again, Bingo the Beagle saves the day."

I wrote a poem about our failure to capture and secure the highway. It's called "The Road Not taken."

"We have no golden parachutes."

'It's all bleach and dye. but I hope that it'll fool the hunters this season.'

'We felt this way at least , your bonus would reflect some element of personal skill.'

'...The world of vitamins can be complex.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

Millionaire bankers hide identity

'Business as usual, baby - Wall Street is back!'

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

"In the mid 60s I received both my draft card and a Valentine's Day card on February 14th. Being a conscientious objector to both love and war, I burned both cards."