Army Surplus Explorer Gifts

"I can't seem to find the camouflage trousers. . ."

The Vineyard

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Artist on the Beach

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

The Fall from Pisa

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

Some domestic cats will roam further than others.

"Why? Because without documentation, this would be lost to history."

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

'My career is in ruins...'

'Is he dead, or is it intern fatigue?'

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

"Our goal is to modernize it but retain the historical flavor."

'If we beat Napoleon, do you think when they invent passenger trains they will name a station after this lot?'

'It appears the empire really is declining and falling.'

For the community garage sale...

"If anyone comes asking for a small boy, I'll be in the toy department."

Dodo with rubber ring

Introvert-in-a-Box

"That's not the way making money works."

"Yeah, getting Ol' Spike neutered wasn't enough. So, I changed his name to Percy and enrolled him in Doggy Ballet."

Man in carriage waiting for shopping wife

"Whoa. Dude. I think I found your testicles."

France.

'Can I call you back, I'm chasing a car.'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

"He refuses to obey direct orders!"