Arena Banter Gifts

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

"The coach said that you play like Ronaldo? Ha! You loser! He told me I play like Chloe Kelly!"

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

"I reckon that Christian Aid lot are pushing them anabolic steroids!"

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

Prelude to 1892 Election

(Carl's Sports Bar) - 'Hockey Sucks!!' - Although Earl had made good on his dare, it would be weeks before he could eat solid food again.

'I went for a walk this morning...' - 'I ran 20 miles... uphill.' - '...and I had bran flakes for breakfast.' - 'Yeah, well I ate 19 sausages, 3 melons, and a horse.' - 'I'm going for a pee.' - 'I swear I could flood this place!!'

"The All-Star Game is just a fun way to decide which league will host the San Francisco Giants' next championship romp.*"

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

After the brief display of sportsmanship, the gladiators resumed fighting to the death, while Anthony embarked on the long road to rehabilitation from torn knee ligaments.

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

"Been waiting long?"

I didn't think I would, but I miss being booed.

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

'Jameis Winston is going over to the sideline, I'm not sure if he's been suspended again, or just broke a chin strap."

Baseball player: 'I'll let my bat do my talking!' BAT: '...I have nothing to say'

"Things are going well, so I may as well ask: how about those Mets? Ha-ha, just kidding. The tail. Please fix this tail thing."

'So in hindsight, maybe not the best idea...'

"I love taking risks... it's all the consequences I can't handle."

'Try not to dip your shoulder and keep your head in there. Remember, all the great ones go through slumps.'

"I'm not a huge football fan but who doesn't love the Superball, right?!"

"Honey, you awake? Rachel? Yo, Meathead. Hey, always-wrong person. Woman who can’t grasp the concept of offsides – you up?"

'That's him in the press box. Third sportswriter from the left. Toss one up there and brush him back from his laptop...'

"I miss the smell of beer and sweat in over-packed arenas."