Arachnid Artist Gifts

'Bloody showoff!'

Spider Knitting

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

Deer Season Open.

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

Want the wings as an appetizer?

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Blatant competition in nature.

Spider Press-Ups

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

'What luck!'

"It's just happened again! I don't get it! Master is such a nice guy: why would the neighbours always decline his invitations?"

The Web of Life - and the Spider of Death

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'

Black Widow Diet

"Arachnophunnies"

'Visit my website.'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

Arachnid Research Lab. I don't need to actually be here all the time, I use a web cam!

I told you not to text and spin, Simone.

"Dinnertime already?"