Arachnid Apprentice Gifts

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Blatant competition in nature.

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

'What luck!'

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'

"Arachnophunnies"

Black Widow Diet

'Visit my website.'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

The newly webs are happy now, but how long will the honeymoon last for both of them?

Spider Parents.

Dizzy Spider

"Dinnertime already?"