Arachnid Advocate Gifts

'Well, some spiders might come inside when it gets colder, but don't worry, they're harmless!'

"You know humans eat eight of us in their sleep every year."

'It's not a really great spot: This Lady comes once a week and destroys all the cobwebs!'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Endangered Species: Belgian Ostrich.

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

Want the wings as an appetizer?

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

I don't like it: The obituaries take most of the newspapers' pages these days...

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Orange Bengal Tiger

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

Blatant competition in nature.

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Spider Press-Ups

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"Arachnophunnies"

'What luck!'

'I say we let the poor thing on the boat. The poor creature has been a performing shark his whole life, he won't survive a day out here in the wild.'

The Threat to the Environment

Black Widow Diet

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'

'Visit my website.'