Arachnid Ally Gifts

'No spiders were harmed in the eradication of your cockroaches.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

Want the wings as an appetizer?

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Labrador for sale

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Spider Press-Ups

Blatant competition in nature.

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

Dog hides eyes as car turns into vet clinic.

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

'What luck!'

Black Widow Diet

"Arachnophunnies"

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

'Visit my website.'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'