Arachnid Adversary Gifts

"Are you sure the itsy bitsy spider went up there?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

Want the wings as an appetizer?

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Spider Press-Ups

Cover story: Plant World.

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

Blatant competition in nature.

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

"It's just happened again! I don't get it! Master is such a nice guy: why would the neighbours always decline his invitations?"

'Ed,did you remember to bring the insect repellent?'

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'

'What luck!'

Black Widow Diet

"Arachnophunnies"

'Visit my website.'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

Dizzy Spider

I told you not to text and spin, Simone.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Oh, it's only you."

Spider Parents.