Arachnid Adversaries Pillows

"No, it's not a spider, Mr. Macho, it's a bit of lint from your sock!"

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Careful. That house has a taser."

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

Cover story: Plant World.

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

Black Widow Diet

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

"Arachnophunnies"

'What luck!'

'Ed,did you remember to bring the insect repellent?'

"It's just happened again! I don't get it! Master is such a nice guy: why would the neighbours always decline his invitations?"

'Visit my website.'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Rest distracted by moles.

"S**t! That might be my husband on the wall!"

Dizzy Spider

"Dinnertime already?"

The newly webs are happy now, but how long will the honeymoon last for both of them?

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"I'm a little concerned about Frank."

'This spider's persistence is remarkable - that's web 9.0.'

Spider harpist.