Arachnid Lovers Pillows

"S**t! That might be my husband on the wall!"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Crocodile

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

Scientist seen on loch.

"You've got a friend in me."

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

'Ah, beauty in the eye of the beholder!'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

Off Off Off Off Broadway

Want the wings as an appetizer?

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"He can be a real charmer when he wants to be."

Spider Press-Ups

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

'It's a pretty lame disappearing act Darling: I think we'd better hire a real Magician for Timmy's birthday party...'

Blatant competition in nature.

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'Whats your poison.'

'We really must do something about that pet door.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"Other snakes! Really? I'm supposed to be eating other snakes! So, we're basically cannibals?"