Arachnid Lovers Pillows

"S**t! That might be my husband on the wall!"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

Football Chameleon

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Crocodile

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

Scientist seen on loch.

Off Off Off Off Broadway

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

"You've got a friend in me."

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Ah, beauty in the eye of the beholder!'

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'It's a pretty lame disappearing act Darling: I think we'd better hire a real Magician for Timmy's birthday party...'

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Blatant competition in nature.

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"He can be a real charmer when he wants to be."

'Whats your poison.'

'We really must do something about that pet door.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'