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'Teenage Goldfish' I keep having dry dreams

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

Pipe Dream.

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

The one that got away

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

Artifishial Intelligence

"Uh Ooh... Another tsunami hits the Ross Ice shelf!

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Easter Island Shades...

'Wow, this guy is DEEP.'

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

"It makes me want to pee."

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

A Sandbar piles of sand in a bar enjoying their night out

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."