Aquarium Observer Gifts

There's always a bigger fish.

'I've decided that I'm leaving you!'

Horror movies

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Pets.

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"I think it loves us."

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

'I wish I was creative'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

'So what have you been up to?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"Trash pickup isn't for another two days, isn't it?"

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

Fish tank filled with sardines.

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'