Aquarium Enthusiast Gifts

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'There goes the world's largest fish.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

Fish bowl 1 "The weed keeps me sane man"

'We're gonna need an accountant.'

"Oh wonderful! You just couldn't resist it could you?"

'Honey, it was really sweet of you to invite the Wilsons over, but didn't it occur to you that they might not be saltwater fish?'

Games fish shouldn't play...

Bravefish

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

'Talk about service. My water glass is never empty.'

'I prefer it this way.'

Fish Friendships.

'DO me a favor. Don't keep saying 'Hi. How's it going?' whenever you swim past me.'

"I think it loves us."

"We really need to hire a landscaper."

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

'Of course there's no one else!'

"Hi there, big guy!"

"You're the greatest* mom ever!" *except for those 3 times you tried to eat me when I was a baby guppy!"

'According to this book, goldfish have a 3 second memory...'

"Watching him work those spreadsheets all day can be very relaxing."

"There weren't any more clown fishes at the pet shop, so they got me - a jester fish."

"You know we should spend some of this!"

2 fish, one dead. The living fish saying'S.B.D!' (silent but deadly)

'Aside from the claustrophobia, ground up meal worms, depression and looking at you pucker your lips all day...life is just peachy!'

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'Hey! I was just sleeping!' A goldfish is almost flushed down the toilet.

'Why is there so much chlorine in this water?'

'He's happy. He's even wagging his tail.'

"No."

"Now that we're divorced what do we do?"

Water Meter

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)