Apprentice Gifts

'So, lad - what experience do you have in construction?'

'Bill, you messed up again. You built the second floor on top of the third floor.'

'Get the intern to see how this thing works.'

'I meant the other snake, Idiot!'

'How long have been a plumber?'

'If I'm learning the farming business inside out,can I learn it on the inside today?'

'Two chicken lip toasties and three salmon leg baguettes...I'm guessing you're a new apprentice.'

'Which one of you jokers sent the new lad out to buy a left-handed spanner?'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Alright, son, we'll give you an apprenticeship. You seem to have what it takes.'

"Why do we call them 'interns'?"

Medical practicioner speaking to his apprentice

'I bet we could have put you together if we'd gone through all the king's union apprentice programs.'

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

Mr. Claypole as he appeared when his master was out

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

How's Henry working out? Great! Strongest wrists in the business!

Builder's School

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

'Read it and weep!'

Novice plumbers replacing a washer in a leaky faucet.

'That's not a period...that's an epoch.'

Grocer's school teaching bad spellings.

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

'For enlightenment, you'll have to see the Guru up there - I'm just the INTERN.'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'We must now come to spacing of the letters - I can't charge a customer for an extra cake...'

"The new apprentice is here."

"In my day, there was no union. I had to stab people in the back to get to where I am now!"

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

"I'm interning."

"I'd pay you the living wage, but well, you know..."

"Have you used one of these before. . . ?"

"So you turned off the power, huh?"