Appointment Survivor Gifts

"Sorry to keep you waiting..."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

Late/Too Late.

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'Time for your pills.'

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

Office Weather

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."