Appointment Survivor T-Shirts

"Sorry to keep you waiting..."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

Late/Too Late.

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'Time for your pills.'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'