Appliance Maintenance Gifts

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Man using to much bug spray

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Yardless: Please help

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

The household cavalry

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

The world's most unemployable family

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Timber preservation

Lazy plumber.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

'No it's still not fixed'

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

Product Testing Department

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"