Apple Skeptics Gifts

"Grandma, if an apple-a-day really did keep the doctor away... the surgeon general would find that apples cause cancer!"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

I.T. Fear

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

Privacy

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Domestic Spying Drones

Big Brother.

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"Tarzan no want computer."

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

Diner is served

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'Why worry about intrusive electronic surveillance. If you've done nothing wrong, you should have nothing to hide!'