App-loving Counselor Gifts

I'm just dying to try out this new Rorschach app! ?

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You're completely screwed up."

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Personal Relationship Counsellor

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'... And, don't worry about his future. I'm sure my Son will give him a job, when they grow up.'

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

So, when did I realize I was a control freak, doc?…

End of world nigh!!!

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

He's crying again. Should he see a therapist?

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'