Apocalypse Debater Pillows

WORLD ENDS TODAY!..OR NOT!

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

More Unequal Than Others

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

Yellow Vests

"I stand corrected..."

Zombie Worker Apocalypse

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

The end is near. The end is nearish. I get this way every spring.

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

Gorillas in the jungle.

The Scones-Monkey Trial. Dear god-fearing jurors, I make a simple common-sense point: Of course man and monkey are not physically related. Have a look for yourself. Move to strike the example. Too late! They both stink. Hey!

"Says WHO?"

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

The Elephant in the Corner.

Zombie Baseball

Don't sweat the small stuff

School of Voodoo Economics

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

Beware: Safe Area.

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

'The trouble with trickle-down economics is, when it gets down to me, it keeps right on trickling.'

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'Evolution? You're suffering from delusions of grandeur. You were a born a monkey, are a monkey, and always will be a monkey.'