Doom And Gloom Debater Pillows

The end is near. The end is nearish. I get this way every spring.

'Somebody told me you'd won the Lottery.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

Religion, This End Up

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

'It was a split decision.'

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

Mud Slinging

Beware: Safe Area.

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

Deforestation.

'I don't get it. How can you say Leno is better than Letterman?'

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

The end is not near! So prepare for the big stock buyback.

"Well, that's one in the eye for doubting Thomas!"

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

Beware of the 4th Quarter

The split end is near.

Destinations

The End is Near!

'You can take that off now.'

"I fear the IRS doesn't share your view that tall men should pay more taxes."

We don't have a 'reasonable doubt' rule up here!

shoe me "Star Trek: Discovery." Sigh … Must I? I have concluded that "The Orville" I superior science fiction. It adheres more faithfully to the principles of "Star Trek: The Next Generation." That's your opinion. I love "Discovery." It's great. Error. Invalid opinion detected. Load "Discovery." Is this because "Orville" has a robot and "Discovery" doesn't? Error. Snowflaky, pro-meatbag agenda detected.

The Electoral Trolley Problem

"I imagine the men who wrote the Bible giggled every time they wrote 'I am the lord'."

'My client pleads not guilty by reason of too much video game violence made him do it.'

"Don't punish yourself for who you are. That's God's job."

Things are certain to get worse before they get better.

Haven't your eyes gotten tired of reading after 150 years? If you're waiting for that to get a rise out of me

'Whoa! Half empty! Definitely half empty!'

Biofeedback-training: 'Ed used to be an incurable optimist but now he's cured.'

'How could I have driven at 50mph? I've only been in the car for five minutes.'