Doom And Gloom Debater Pillows

'Somebody told me you'd won the Lottery.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

Religion, This End Up

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

'It was a split decision.'

Mud Slinging

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

Beware: Safe Area.

Deforestation.

"Well, that's one in the eye for doubting Thomas!"

The end is not near! So prepare for the big stock buyback.

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

The split end is near.

Beware of the 4th Quarter

Destinations

"I imagine the men who wrote the Bible giggled every time they wrote 'I am the lord'."

'You can take that off now.'

"I fear the IRS doesn't share your view that tall men should pay more taxes."

We don't have a 'reasonable doubt' rule up here!

"Don't punish yourself for who you are. That's God's job."

'My client pleads not guilty by reason of too much video game violence made him do it.'

Things are certain to get worse before they get better.

'Whoa! Half empty! Definitely half empty!'

Biofeedback-training: 'Ed used to be an incurable optimist but now he's cured.'

'How could I have driven at 50mph? I've only been in the car for five minutes.'

WORLD ENDS TODAY!..OR NOT!

"Hooray, nuclear energy is absolutely green."