Apartment Dweller With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'Couldn't you people have a dog or a cat for a pet?'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

'Honey, I'm home.'

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

William and Real Estate

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

'He's training for a career in law.'

Affordable housing

The lessor of two evils.

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

"I think investors have been a bit concerned about these tiny 'microflats' we're converting."

"I still can't believe you're leaving a two bedroom for a studio."

'I told you it was a stupid idea getting a pet lemming.'

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

'A thief stole your key? Rats, I'll have to change the lock and reissue keys to the thousands of tenants...'

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

Ace Apartments: Absolutely NO beekeeping!

"It's the co-op board!"

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

'Well, you do wonder don't you?'

'Su casa is now mi casa.'

Mime tip #37: The noisy upstairs neighbors won't hear your invisible broom knocking.

There are some bad neighbors in the building where I live. One creep was kicked out for inappropriate actions. I call him "The Flash." "Catwoman" violates the no-pets policy. "Aquaman" hogs all the hot water. And the "Green Hulk" is a huge guy who berates people when they don't separate recyclables from other trash. On the plus side, when anything breaks here, it is quick fixed. Ah, "Superman"!

"I've learned to live with the ever-present specter of death, but mostly because it's started chipping in for rent."

'Keep that dividing down!'

Retired From Home

"So what if it's small," the realtor says, "it's not like you'll be stuck in there."

The Denouement is Nigh!

Balcony extension with sunbathers