Urban Dweller With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'I told you it was a stupid idea getting a pet lemming.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Cars.

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'He's training for a career in law.'

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

Robinia Floribunda

"It's been a rainy winter."

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

'Couldn't you people have a dog or a cat for a pet?'

"Goddam Dogs."

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Cook complaining to milkman

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Chugger

"We're just a stone's throw from everything."

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'