Urban Dweller With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'I told you it was a stupid idea getting a pet lemming.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Cars.

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'He's training for a career in law.'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Robinia Floribunda

"It's been a rainy winter."

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

'Couldn't you people have a dog or a cat for a pet?'

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Cook complaining to milkman

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

"Goddam Dogs."

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

Chugger

"We're just a stone's throw from everything."

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'