Urban Living Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Crime in the street phobia.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Sign Reform

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Cars.

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

Manhole Warning

Cook complaining to milkman

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

'I told you it was a stupid idea getting a pet lemming.'

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

Chugger

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Gets A Job

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'