Anxious Applicants Gifts

Although he had interviewed lots of applicants who were nail-biters, this guy was by far the most annoying.

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

What do you think of the application so far?

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

Bureaucratic Position Interview

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

Welcome Sufferers of Stage Fright

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

Tree growing

"They're from accounting, sir, they're not very verbal."

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

"Start Monday...I like the cut of your jib, young man"

The Job Interview

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

'You're in extreme danger because you eat too much. . .'

"I'd like to extend a special welcome to those of you who are joining us for the first time, as part of a nightmare you're having."

Fortune Telling: Retirement Planning.

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

"Call me a dreamer, but I see a world in which I give speeches without pants and find myself in the final exam of courses I never signed up for."

Idlewild.

You've been in there for quite a while, little buddy. Everything all right? Go away, Randy! Randy's rule #896: A confident person doesn't get tinkle-shy just because there's a long line waiting for him or her to finish. Still here. Go away!!!

"You understand that we screen applicants pretty thoroughly."

"Here, we want movers, but not shakers."

I called Laurel an hour ago and she hasn’t called me back. What could possibly be the reason? She no longer likes me; She's gotten into a horrible accident; She's having an affair with Justin Timberlake? She's moving to Europe without telling me?! HOJ. She hasn't gotten the message yet? She's moving to Europe with Justin Timberlake.

'I'm sorry, Mr.Nesbitt - but there's no accounting for taste.'

Turn off the tv! Blasphemy. I have Extreme Partisanship Syndrome. I can't hear about politics. I get too riled up. It could kill me. No more Fox, or MSNBC, or even the networks. Fine, but there are other options. Can't this kill me too? Just the mind. Tonight on Biggest Loser: Jog eating.