Anxiety Acrobat Gifts

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Worry tank

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Neurotics in the tropics

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

Tree growing

He did special exercises to stay calm during his evaluation.

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

Welcome Sufferers of Stage Fright

'He has a learning disorder.'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

For Sale: Red Arrow

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

"They're from accounting, sir, they're not very verbal."

'And I have an overwhelming desire to be needed...'

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

The Job Interview

'I'm worried that my crippling anxiety is going to shorten my life.'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

'You're in extreme danger because you eat too much. . .'

'I can never do anything with my hair phobia.'

"I'd like to extend a special welcome to those of you who are joining us for the first time, as part of a nightmare you're having."

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

"Whenever someone scoffs at dreaming the impossible dream, I tell them to think of Bloomingdale's –the way it was long, long ago, and the way it is now."

My Progress Towards Achieving My Goals

"Oh, no! I typed up all my New Year's Resolutions without saving copies, only to drop them in the shredder by accident! Now I'll never remember them! How clumsy of me! Oh, well!"

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

You've been in there for quite a while, little buddy. Everything all right? Go away, Randy! Randy's rule #896: A confident person doesn't get tinkle-shy just because there's a long line waiting for him or her to finish. Still here. Go away!!!

Home/work masks.