Accidental Acrobat Gifts

'He has a learning disorder.'

"And the winner for the fastest time for dropping and breaking a new phone is Timmy, at 1 hour and 23 minutes."

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"I told him we needed more string."

'I count only four parachutes. Where's Mr. Simms?'

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

Base jumper in squirrel suit sees splat shadow as he leaps from canyon wall.

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

'It wasn't premeditated.

'Looks more fun than it is. I never realized pole dancing was so tough.'

"Larry does all his own stunts."

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

Translating . . . poetry.

Dolphin tricks.

A man swinging upside down by his legs on a scaffolding frame.

Bathing and Showering.

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'And I have an overwhelming desire to be needed...'

Model Stealth Bomber.

20 Years Later The First Pyramid Would Be Built, And Cheerleading Finales Would Never Be The Same.

Flight School.

After his 'Activity Weekend' Uncle Reg was a changed man.

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

"Of course your dad loves the roller-skates you got him. He just went through the door with them."

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

"Whenever someone scoffs at dreaming the impossible dream, I tell them to think of Bloomingdale's –the way it was long, long ago, and the way it is now."

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

'Synchronised swimming.'

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

A bear flying a plane upside down, waving to a man in another plane.

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.