Wannabe Acrobat Gifts

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

'When we start the countdown, you creep up under the rocket, light the fuse, then run like hell.'

As Seen On TV

Their lowest cost vacation yet.

The great bespeak for Miss Snevellicci

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

"Whenever someone scoffs at dreaming the impossible dream, I tell them to think of Bloomingdale's –the way it was long, long ago, and the way it is now."

Before and After Tattoos.

'Thank you. Do you mind if I spray it about like they do on tv?'

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

And so ended the years of preparation our hero refusing to whimper even now in his final, flopping moments.

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'