Antsy Adventurer Gifts

'Well, looks like your life is just like mine: Work, work, work...'

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

Unconditional Loveseat

Sawfish cuts through the oars of row boat.

Neurotics in the tropics

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

Professor Urquat makes his final contribution to the world of science.

'Boat Launch'

"It's a really cool game! You're Bill Gates, and you have to fight off the evil agents of the Justice Department before they destroy your planet."

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

Agoraphobic Explorer

'I think we floated a little 'too far' down stream.'

'You don't get it? My wife and the kids don't get it, too. . . I don't even get it myself. . . That means it must be art!!'

Uptight Fishing...'we put the bait on for you'

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

"Is it okay that I said yes to that costume party?"

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'

A street vendor sells chicken soup during a snowstorm.

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

'Come back immediately, idiot.'

"Now, which one of the Thousand Islands is this?"

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

My Progress Towards Achieving My Goals

"Yeah, I found a pizza shop that delivers."

Nautical Antiques: We Catch Your Drift

Plaster of Paris

"Yeah, I'm microchipped, that's the problem! If I get caught, they'll send me back to the horrible people I'm running away from..."

"Do you feel we are making progress in overcoming your fears?"