Antitrust Investigator T-Shirts

US v.s. Tech Giants

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"Say, Chief, any progress on the pencil case?"

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)