Corporate Investigator T-Shirts

"We need to investigate a stupidity cluster in accounting."

It's my turn to put you under electronic surveillance. Cops-n-Robbers-n-Identity Thieves-n-Corporate Investigators.

Top Secret

Undercover Santa

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

US v.s. Tech Giants

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'