Antisocialness Gifts

"Gah! Too many people!"

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

"It's lonely here at the top. Thank goodness I've never been a people person."

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

"There are easier ways to get time to yourself, Ed."

"The floor is any human contact."

Learning to read body language, lesson one: 'Leave me alone!'

'Edgworth has come to terms with himself. He likes himself very much, but he can't stand anyone else.'

"The Johnsons tend to keep themselves to themselves..."

'Make yourselves at home. I'm right here, in the panic room.'

"Let's just invade the picnic, stay for five minutes, and leave."

Social Networking or Death

Stay back 500 feet

"Social networking lets me be social without actually having to be around other people."

"Donald hates visitors."

"I miss avoiding people."

"You're dropping by since you're in the neighborhood? Hey, that's great. Unfortunately, we're in our car and, whoa, looks like we're heading into a tunnel. Gotta go. Bye."

"Your father's in a good mood. He's declined 3 friend requests this morning."

How nature says 'stay away'. . . Monday Morning Face.

Triple Witching Hour in Apartment 3-K.

Castaways Not Welcome

"What I love about our friendship is the way we never see or speak to each other."

Antisocial Society