Antisocial Behavior Gifts

"I miss avoiding people."

Santa Claus's Mail

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

"I hate it when we fight."

Dog Park / Cat Park

Hoodie Hang-out

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

The Map of the Human Heart

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

"I beg to differ."

One giant bark for dogkind.

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"It's lonely here at the top. Thank goodness I've never been a people person."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

When protons collide...

Cohesion Of Cohort/Shared Behaviors

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"Freud said love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness, but human mess is equally true."

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."

'You're at that awkward age where the others have figured out that you're a drone and you don't do anything.'

"Is this your work?"

The institute.

'Mind if we play through?'

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

Specialising in Multiple Personality Disorder

"I think up most of the things that get me in trouble here while I'm in the time-out chair at home."