Antisocial Amplifier Gifts

"Gah! Too many people!"

Hoodie Hang-out

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

"It's lonely here at the top. Thank goodness I've never been a people person."

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

'I liked it better when congress at least pretended to care what we think.'

"There are easier ways to get time to yourself, Ed."

"The floor is any human contact."

'Edgworth has come to terms with himself. He likes himself very much, but he can't stand anyone else.'

"Let's just invade the picnic, stay for five minutes, and leave."

'Make yourselves at home. I'm right here, in the panic room.'

Stay back 500 feet

"Donald hates visitors."

'I know living on an abandoned nuclear test site has its advantages - no bugs, no snakes, no univited guests but did it ever occur to you that there's nothing else here either?'

"Social networking lets me be social without actually having to be around other people."

"I miss avoiding people."

"Your father's in a good mood. He's declined 3 friend requests this morning."

How nature says 'stay away'. . . Monday Morning Face.

Triple Witching Hour in Apartment 3-K.

Castaways Not Welcome

'I want a welcome mat that says 'Go Away'.'

"What I love about our friendship is the way we never see or speak to each other."

Man taking a pee while walking the dog.