Antiques Lover Gifts

'Get rid of that ugly wind turbine or we'll burn the place to the ground!'

"What about this lucky stone?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

The Missing Sock Returns

Second hand furniture.

Military Medals

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Early Piety

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'I know I complimented you on that outfit last time you wore it, but that was in 1980.'

Antiques

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Opening the Barrel

Swells - Men's Fashion

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

Girl's hair comes unfastened as a dance is about to begin